Friday, August 12, 2011


I love going to the movies, I always leave in such a happy mood (if it was a good movie). I saw "The Help" tonight and really enjoyed myself! Emma Stone is just gorgeous. When people ask me if I could change what time period I lived in... I always say the 50's. It looks so classy, modest, and fun. Not to mention the boys are actually polite! :) But "The Help" really opened my eyes to some of the things I wouldn't have liked about the 50's. Definitely a movie I recommend seeing! Now I'm just at home letting the fact that summer is over soon sink in. Not ready to go yet, but I know this year is going to be good.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

born and raised in a summer haze.

This summer has been amazing! I've lived in so many different places and met so many new friends. My parents are treating me with so much more freedom which has allowed me to take long weekends away to the river, lake, ATX, anywhere really. I've been working and saving money as well as taking classes at the community college. I'm anxious for school to start, I feel like my sophomore year is going to be amazing. I've grown closer to God every day and made a few changes that I hope He is proud of.

A few weeks ago in church, our preacher preached about how hell is just as real as heaven. While I thought the sermon was particularly dark and a little too "baptist" for me... One thing he said stuck out to me. Our preacher talked about the necessity of an open, growing, endless relationship with God. He then went on to talk about when you first fall in love and the colors seem brighter, the flowers smell better, and the air feels cleaner because you're walking on sunshine ya da ya da ya da. But then how when the relationship ends, you can't face the day because everything you once saw as beautiful only reminds you of the person you loved; and in response, you shut yourself out, after which you only descend further down the stairs towards happiness because you don't allow yourself to see the beauty in everyday. I, being completely pathetic, understood what the preacher was preaching about in that moment because, in my wimpy 19 years of life, I think I've been there. (Long sentence). Anyway, the preacher went back to preaching about hell and I began to let my mind wonder. Since then, I've decided to not confuse beauty in people with beauty in memories. Just because something was beautiful when you saw it with hearts in your eyes, doesn't mean its not beautiful now. Yeah, it may hurt for awhile.... but it all relates back to the One who created it all. Each flower, cloud, piece of technology, sunset, sunrise, each everything, was created by God for us to see, appreciate, smell, touch, and understand. Avoiding the "once good" only to escape from the temporary hurt only ends up harming you more. I'm thankful for Gods beauty, everywhere and am working towards a growing beautiful relationship with Him, for out of all the love I have experience and all the love to come, I know that my relationship with God is the only stead-fast, guaranteed, and completely immersing love available.

thats all,

Saturday, May 7, 2011

its a wrap, freshman year.

my first year of college is over... say what? I really don't feel like thats happening. A week from today, I'll be moving into a duplex (temporarily) with one of my very best friends and we are going to have no rules and its going to be summer.... meaning that she and I can craft WHENEVER we want. Gosh, Abilene better watch out for this parade of wild thats going to hit them. Anyway, I feel like a reflection of this year is quite necessary so here goes:

School started off rough. Really rough. The days before I left, my family, friends, and I cried enough water to fill a large creek. I was confused and not excited to be here. I never really took "going to college" seriously. Sometimes, I still can't even believe that I've been here. I let ACU choose me by granting a friendly scholarship and packed my bags and assumed everything would be fine. And though it was, its not exactly what I expected. At all. I spent everyday counting down the minutes until I could leave and go back to Fort Worth. I didn't want anything to do with this place and kind of shut myself out socially. Academically, however, I was on a roll. I kind-of amazed my parents and myself with how wonderful my grades came out. It was very liberating to make them so proud. There's not much to say about Abilene for the first semester, I was only here a total of two weekends (one of which my fort worth friends came here). Wow, I know. But either way, that semester was fun. I was in love, on top of things, and learned a lot more about my decision making process.

Then came Christmas break, and I was ecstatic to be home. I worked at power balance and ate mall pretzels all the time, fought with my parents, and spent a lot of time with some guy and my very best friends. I celebrated Christmas with my family and fell more in love with the relationships I have with them.

Second semester rolled around and then the time flew. I took on new classes, dropped Core and Bible because I thought that I was for sure leaving the next year. Cold temperatures brought me a new best friend, one of the biggest blessings in my life so far. I'm lucky for that. I spent weekends having fun out in Abilene, went home less often, and started enjoying myself less and less when I was home. Except one mid-week trip home that made me fall a little deeper for that some guy. Anyway, I had my car here for the first time and was loving it. I got a job at a fro-yo shop and it's kept me busy. I still feel like my first weekend back in Abilene was a few weeks ago so piecing this all together is a little weird and out of order.

Then spring break came and my perfectly good heart was broken and my world flipped upside down. And everything has gone up since. :)
My relationships with my family have grown stronger, my dad is my number one man, and I'm finding myself again. I've been on a hunt for God and he's shown himself through many beautiful people. I've only been home twice since Spring Break now (180 flip, right?!) and I'm about to have my own place to call home here. Strange to think that once I couldn't wait to leave, and now I'm putting up pictures with nails, making holes in the wall, marking my OWN territories.

It's been fun freshman year, thanks for showing me whats UP.


Monday, April 4, 2011


When mathematics is applied to people, one and one is never a definite two. 
Sometimes one will give 300, and only get about 4 in return but because it was one's nineteenth it is okay. 
Sometimes two promise to give infinitely but all either really end up with is 499. 
And sometimes you need to put down your counting cards and get a new tally sheet and just be one, all on your own. 

It's so much easier to say what needs to be done than actually doing it. I have plenty of reasons to not give this one more try. I have one reason why I should. I have a million things to fill this heart up with again, but one spot is saved. 1 > 1 million doesn't make any sense to me either. 

In the words of my best friend, SORRY FOR DA SAP, but seriously...
Sometimes I wish it ended in 1010. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

Mother nature, turn up the heat just a little more please!

Things are getting warm warm warm and I want it to stay stay stay.
I've learned that weather has a DIRECT impact on my mood. Aka, I'm never going to live in Seattle (unless Dr. McDreamy himself makes a deal with me...) and if I want to be happy, it looks like I need to pack up and head to a coast. Ahhh that would be so nice.
Today was a day of firsts!
1) I pulled my very first academic all nighter last night! Studied till sunrise and then some. It was actually pretty nice being all on my own in the quiet with just pandora and some civilization. Although, I have to admit it was a little creepy when the custodians came to clean the building I was in. Ha. Oh well.
1) I went to the ER for the first time tonight too! Guess my all-nighter did have a few consequences... I'm a-okay now though. :)

Spring Break on Friday... it could not get here any sooner.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

funny how things start to grown on you when you've already grown out of them.

Things are looking pretty good over here in west Texas. Now that I'm pretty sure I'm getting out of here - it feels like I'm gone and already missing lil Abs!
Today was very productive :)
I faxed a scholarship application off to a new university, earned $37.50, and went to my prof's house for breakfast, civilization class (which was epic), and even quantitative reasoning. My new job is awesome! I won't even complain about my sad little sore feet. Oh wait, I just did. :)
I'm thinking about heading home this weekend but some thing's telling me I should stay. I do want to see my best friends and celebrate Valentines and I do have off of work. But there's also best friends to see here, Sing Song, and I could always ask for more hours and go home next weekend. Decision decisions. I want to buy a magic eight ball that can just make my decisions for me. Next paycheck. :)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

snow daze.

Mother nature sent Abilene a blizzard this week. 
God sent me another best friend.
The greatest best friend I've ever had sent himself to me. 
And I sent a prayer of thanks to the big guy upstairs for all the blessings I have.